Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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