I bet he comes in French.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
do nipples grow back?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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