Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
