Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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