ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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