Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
