Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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