smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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