I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
