First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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