Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
