yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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