So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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