i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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