i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm going to jail i love you
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
