You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
