Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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