Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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