You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
