My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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