I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
