glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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