As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
