I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
