so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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