Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize