Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
