think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize