Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
