you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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