His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
