More tranny stories later!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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