I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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