My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
