Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
