Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
