...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
