Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
