on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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