i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
