I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't deserve a penis
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize