when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My feet surprised me
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