Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
