"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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