I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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