Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
