I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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