i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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