xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
ok first of all what the fuck
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
