He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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