If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize