I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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