just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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