remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
