Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
