I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
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She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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