party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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