Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
