the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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