I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
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I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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