1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
