we're blogging at a bar
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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