i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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